What not to do when stuck at an airport

Any adventurous travellers out there will know that there will inveriably be a time when you get stuck at an airport for far too long. It may be because you are waiting for a connecting flight, or perhaps your flight has been delayed and you are stuck at arrivals, or even perhaps have arrived too late at an airport to get any transport out. Having been in this situation many times before, I have compiled a list from personal experience (and a couple of stories from my friends) of things you should not do when stuck at an airport.
1. Be a smoker (and then start drinking)
You have booked in, had your final cigarette, gone through customs and had enough of browsing round Duty Free and so settled waiting for your flight to depart and then the announcement comes that your flight is delayed. For an indefinite amount of time. The smoking itch immediately kicks in. You try to distract yourself, first with the end of your book, another browse round Duty Free, but the flight is still not called. Eventually you decide to have a drink at the bar. The itch immediately grows. Another drink; the flight’s not called, and you start to feel indignant. Yet another drink, you team up with a fellow delayed smoker and start to complain about your human rights. Yet another drink and you and the fellow smoker decide the best idea is to ask someone if you can be allowed out for a cigarette. The airport security staff tell you that you theoretically can be, but you will need to find a flight operative to escort you out. The flight operatives are all hiding as they are fed up with the complaints about your delayed flight, so you have another drink. And another. A flight operative is spotted walking past, in a now slightly drunken stupor you follow the attendant and inform them that they are in breach of your human rights if they don’t let you out. They say they are understaffed so are not able and an argument ensues. Eventually a manager appears to say the flight is now ready to board, however you are too drunk to be allowed on.
2. Hook up with someone
Waiting at an airport, you get chatting to the rather attractive man sitting next to you. You both have a long time to kill before your connecting flight. He offers to buy you a drink. You go to the bar and have a few drinks between you. One thing leads to another and it seems a really good idea to climb up some scaffolding and attempt to have sex. You suddenly notice the security cameras directly above you. When you return to the ground, you are aware of all the security officers laughing at you.
3. Go to sleep in a bar
As the only place open in the airport is the bar you decide to have a quick drink whilst waiting for your connecting flight. You’ve had a long journey already and the alcohol makes you feel extremely drowsy. With not much to distract you, you eventually find yourself falling asleep and are woken up by an extremely angry airline operative informing you that your bags had to be taken off your flight due to you missing the final call.
In conclusion the best piece of advice I can offer, is its probably not the best idea to get drunk in airports. However, if anyone can give any advice for something else to fill the time, I would be happy for some advice!
As a sidebar I have booked the val thorens accommodation and am getting ready for my next trip. Looking forward to giving you all updates on it!